Bless technology. (Usually.) Without it I don’t know that my brain would operate optimally.
The other day, one of those memories popped onto my phone. It was a photo of me from a number of years ago at a beach in Mexico. I had just finished swimming with whale sharks.
I’d completely forgotten that I’d done this.
I got in the ocean with giant fish that could swallow me whole (but blessedly prefer krill) and I forgot.
I have and will continue to tell you that motherhood is a trip and a half. I don’t know what happens to a woman once they have become a human incubator, but the brain-tax paid is at least 50 IQ points (and some artistic flare added to one’s belly button).
This whole lapse in my memory inspired me to dust off the top shelves of my mind and I started to uncover a variety of things I’d nearly let fall into the dark corners of my brain.
I have done some seriously cool things.
And now, I feel compelled to write them down somewhere because what if I forget again. I feel like time and age are not on my side here. I need to bolster myself appropriately.
I need to remember that despite being in an objectively ‘uncool’ season of my life, I have done some objectively cool things in my past.
I played bass in front of 12, 000 people. Twelve. Thousand. People. I’ve travelled all over the United States, sang in Nashville, backpacked in Europe, did yoga training in Costa Rica, swam with turtles in Hawaii, skinny dipped in Miami.
I can’t believe I let myself forget the mountains I’ve climbed – both figurative and literal – with my own two legs. I was cool once. It’s possible I sound like I’m bragging (‘cause I low-key am), but to be honest, it’s because I completely forgot that I was once not the person I am today.
I haven’t felt cool, adventurous, ambitious, or really much of anything outside of survival-mode for a hot minute.
And I imagine I’m not the only mom, at home with their cute little handmade balls of flesh, that feels this way.
My day-to-day life does not make for glamorous social media content. For instance last week when I found a nugget of poo in my dryer – RIP the me I was before that happened.
I am dedicating this column to moms and to anyone that feels like their life lost its sparkle.
Write down everything you’ve ever done that’s even slightly cool. You deserve to remember that you were a whole, autonomous, sovereign and cool human being once.
You had uninterrupted sleep and a five-step skincare routine. You stayed up past 9:30 p.m. and wore non-functional clothing.
Dig through those Facebook memories, you deserve to remember that you were so cool.
Let’s be honest, you are still cool, you’re just cosplaying a mom right now so glamour and adventure are in the backseat.
If we survive this era of life, maybe we can hit our stride and make a comeback later as feral, middle-aged women.
