I was pretty boring a little while ago. It started around last December when I got bored with things so I started spending a lot of time on the internet. I was really into People of Walmart for a while, then WTF tattoos and even cakewrecks.com. But it didn’t take long for those sites to become dull and I moved on.
I then happened upon some interesting sites; ones that taught me something and were also entertaining. I can’t remember the sites now, but they were like a gateway into a land of positive living. I found really great quotes on doing scary things every day, training your body to do awesome physical feats, really using your life up… “drinking life to the lees,” as Tennyson would say.
Got me thinking, “Why so boring, Trish?” To which I answered, “Who cares! It ends now!” And as the universe does, it flooded me with all kinds of strange realities. My old schoolmate’s little sister got diagnosed with something no one her age has any business getting diagnosed with. My friend passed away. My darned jeans got tight again. I was tired and fat, bored and hungry and to top it all off, I could die tomorrow.
Then the quotes got me moving. I took a magnifying glass to my life and examined corners of my mind that hadn’t been looked at in a while. I found old hurts and angers and frustrations; mental trash I lugged around with me even though it made as much sense as carting around a bag of last year’s refuse.
Since I’m almost finally 40, I figured it was time to deal with this garbage. No more being scared. I put my foot down with some people who needed to have a foot put down on them. I erected some walls and created some boundaries with others. I drew my emotional bubble in to enclose only my little family and close friends. It felt tremendous.
Alternately, I looked at what does work in my life, what brings me joy. Of course my family is number one. I love them so much and receive great pleasure in taking care of them. But I know how important it is to create memories. If I want to be a good role model for my daughters, to show them how to be active, spontaneous and strong, shouldn’t I be those things myself? So I began seeking out adventures for us and doing things we hadn’t before.
And then I started running. Running is something I always wanted to do but said I couldn’t. You know the deal. It hurts, it’s hard, blah, blah, blah. I did it anyway. I’m going to use my body up, darn it, and I’m going to be strong and stretchy.
A quote popped up on my Facebook page today that sums up this piece quite nicely,
“I want to remember that no one is going to make my dreams come true for me… it is my job to get up every day and work toward the things that are deepest in my heart… and to enjoy every step of the journey rather than wishing I was already where I want to end up.”
