I had the opportunity to listen to a new CD, Life In Color, over the weekend, which was written and performed by five young men from Okotoks who call their band FX of Grace.
I’m sorry guys, the experience turned out to be much more frustrating than I expected.
Oh, don’t get me wrong.
The 10 tracks on the CD were quite enjoyable. They are catchy songs with a good beat and have a solid message.
The problem I had was trying to get the darn thing open.
Like all professionally-produced CDs now, Life In Color was wrapped in cellophane so tight you would have thought it contained plutonium, not inspirational music.
I initially tried my fingernails, but because I also happen to be wound up nearly as tight as the CD, I treat my nails like they were one of the five food groups.
Not a chance my chewed-up digits were going to open this thing.
I then tried my car key. Nope. While it can start a beast that I get up to 90 kilometres/hour on the highway, my key couldn’t lift the plastic on the CD.
A pen finally worked. I was able to tear through the plastic, got a little strip up, and then gnawed the rest off with my teeth.
Sure, I left a blue streak from the pen on the CD cover, but it was open. Not quite it turns out.
I tried to pry it open, but discovered a microscopic label with FX of Grace typed on it preventing me to do it. This strip is, apparently, there to protect thieves from taking the CD out of the package. If a store owner can’t notice a would-be thief trying to open the initial wrapping for five minutes with his fingernails, car keys and finally a pen, there are major security issues at the store.
Of course, I did the only thing a middle-aged man can do who isn’t willing to accept his faults.
I cursed.
I then realized there must be a special place for someone when he (it would only be a he) dies who curses while trying to open an inspirational CD.
I have to tell you all these new security devices are unhealthy.
I have been on medication for several years and despite the fact I have no kids and no co-ordination, I still somehow end up going home with 100 pills tightly secured with a child-proof cap.
Yep, once a week, I have to match up these little slots like my pill container was the safe at the Royal Bank in order to plop seven pills in a container marked Sunday to Saturday so I can remember to take my pills. My pills are for high blood pressure. Yep, I am taking pills caused by a disease from the frustration of not being able to get to my pills.
Fortunately, Life In Color has calmed my nerves. I will be listening to it for a while, if I can ever figure out how to get the CD out of my computer.
